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SickBitchCrips Appeal for SMA Sufferer and How to Become a Porn Star

Photo of Katherine with orange hair in her wheelchair in front of a brick wall

A campaign called ‘Help Katherine’s wish come true’ has caught the retina of SickBitchCrips, who don’t support charity. They find it an abhorrent act of humility and patronisation. It is disgusting, belittling and demeaning.

As far as SBC are concerned, disabled people are pathetic, just like the rest of us. If they want money they should bloody well earn it and not expect people to give to them out of sympathy. SBC has some suggestions for those who want to make quick £££s:

Porn. Normal bodies can make between £350-500+ per day, depending on if you’re good or not. NB: Genetic defects – it can go either way – play on the novelty aspect and remember to always haggle for the best deal.

Escorting. Pick your targets well - the more disabled, the more they’ll pay you. Tell your client you’re disabled – this is always a turn on, especially if you have a limb or two missing.

Pimping. Find those chicks with clits and dicks and you’ll be laughing all the way to the building society.

Dominatrix services. You are in control. Use your ‘special’ callipers, spinal braces, splints, wheelchairs, commode, breathing machines, oxygen masks, trendelenberg beds, through floor lifts, spastic knives and forks as optional extras to increase your service charge.

Lastly, remember, always be innovative and introduce new toys, even if they don’t exist - make it up. For example the Fuck Stick, a handy little masturbator that goes round corners.

In the case of Katherine’s special appeal, SBC have decided that this is a worthy cause, so they BEG you from the BOTTOM of their scoliosis to spread the filth, spread the word, give generously and disingenuously to this wretched example of a sufferer. Let the genetic defect sing, watch her porn her body in her expected nauseating, gonorrhoea music video.

Sufferers like her need help to fuck off. ASAP.

https://www.gofundme.com/amiracleoflife

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 21 May 2016

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 23 May 2016

SickBitchCrips introduce ‘VeeDee’

Large Hairy Pussy

SickBitchCrips are dripping with excrement over a sluttish new collaboration under the label ‘VeeDee’.

The non-binary, gender bender, vagina regina birds are superlative and will make porn that the feebleminded and the weak willed can aspire to.

These able pathetic under achieving pussies will make you slip in and out of your wheelchair. They are blissfully frigid and ruthless in objectifying themselves explicitly for the inspiration porn industry. This pair of tits will fuck you harder than you have ever been fucked before.

The industry is moist and desperate for clits with dicks and VeeDee are determined to deliver to the max.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 6 April 2016

Last modified by Katherine Araniello, 8 April 2016

SickBitchCrips - Doing Fuck All, Because We Can

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2016 is here and the diseased continue living and the deceased continue dying. Hand transplant is fresh and SickBitchCrips are queuing up, desperate to be rid of their limp fingers. Salad Fingers is a non-contender.

IS (Income Support) continue to kill the lame and weak, and there is widespread fear of mutating cells, causing further illness and debilitation. We are offering grooming services to all who are vulnerable and in need of change.

Killer flies are on the rampage, targeting unborn babies and increasing the disability population. Extraordinary pinhead babies are on the increase and us SickBitchCrips are keen to foster those unwanted bundles of joy.

SickBitchCrips continue to triumph over adversity and we are excited about controlling our computer with a dot on our lips. The hands free computer is a gift from the clouds and to reciprocate such wonderful technological supremacy we will be donating our hands to those who lost theirs in the name of sepsis, meningitis and other unfortunate mishaps. Depriving your body parts of oxygen does have severe consequences, but SickBitchCrips are here to save the world, we never used our hands anyway, so why not let others benefit from them.

SickBitchCrips are proud to announce that they have produced relentlessly over the years and are finally in a position to expose themselves.

From suicide to heroism, mindfulness, awkwardness, tragedy, dance and vlogging – the showreel spews it all over you. Before you turn us on, have plenty of tissues to hand, enjoy the rollercoaster ride and hold on tight, if you can.

Click on the link below to see my showreel.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 29 January 2016

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 31 January 2016

SickBitchCrips interviews artist Katherine Araniello

SBC: Katherine, why are you choosing to make such dull, disinteresting work that we can’t stand listening to and watching?

Katherine: There are many layers to this work. Firstly, we live in a society in which competitiveness is instilled into us and to be noticeable, one is expected to sell themselves like a whore so that we are wanted and desired by all…

SBC: Yes Katherine, but you are a whore and a cunt and this work is pathetic and bland. Is it a contradiction of your real self?

Katherine: Thank you SBC. The work is about presenting oneself in an underwhelming way, which is in opposition to how society expects us to behave. As a disabled person, there are expectations that we should be overachievers and be brilliant at everything we do, as well as role models and all that.

SBC: Yes. But it’s boring and lacks depth, context, and presents you as an atypical wheelchair bound invalid.

Katherine: I think you’re missing the point. Disability is irrelevant here, it just is. Its presence may well dominate the clichéd comments of your observations, however how you, as the viewer, interpret this work will depend on how the work sits. So, for example, if you feel it’s heavily laden with disability and presents a leaning towards sentimentality and body aesthetics, then that’s because you are blinkered by the ongoing narrative that the mainstream places on difference.

SBC: Jog off. We’re done with this wordy bullshit. You’re twisted and bent, just like us, so fucking get over it.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 12 October 2015

Last modified by Katherine Araniello, 12 October 2015

The Essential Guide to Video Blogging by Katherine Araniello

Still of Katherine Araniello taken from her Vlog

I am currently working on a series of video blogs that will run indefinitely. The attraction of these DIY blogs is that they are simple.

Technophobe
There are lots of tips and tricks that could make your life more fulfilled and one of mine is I film using my mobile phone which is portable/compact/anorexic and easy to handle. Turn on the video stabilisation and it couldn’t be easier. Another useful tip is always remember to not cover up the camera lens whilst shooting as it will be very devastating if you have just spent 10 minutes chitchatting about your latest escapades. When working in torrential downpours, it’s a good idea to remember to carry a handy little parapluie as this will prevent you and mobile getting wrecked.  I personally choose FHD 1920 x 1080 because this allows clarity and gives a sense of purpose. 

Always film holding the mobile device bent on its side because your objective is to have a wise angle effect, as you don’t want your footage half empty.  An excellent example is my blogs and you will see the point I’m making, i.e. there are no black columns either side.

Once you have figured out the settings, how to export, import etc. it really is a simple process that any baby will find easy to master in a matter of seconds.

Psychology
Video blogging is a means of communication and an online diary of your activities to be able to reflect on in many years to come. It is the legacy that you dream about and must do otherwise by the time you are a corpse no one will have ever heard of you.

Vlogging is a source of inspiration that can be shared globally; it is a breath of fresh air that will bring delight to your loved ones, friends, family, strangers and haters. People will admire your wonderful talents and be moved by your blogs. It is a one-sided form of communication in which your followers/trolls can relax, respect, drool and watch over you, the epitome of elegance and taste.

Intimacy
My video blogs will fill the empty hole in your life, where that gaping gap needs something to stuff it with. See them as the friends you don’t have, therapy you so desperately need, use them for relaxation and be prepared to drift into a catatonic daze. Intimacy and loneliness are emotionally draining and whether you are single, in a failed relationship or the happiest person in the universe my video blogs are here to serve as a tonic, a barbiturate, an insight and a purpose.

Goal
Spread the word, spread the mundane, and spread the joy. It is with eager trepidation that I know my blogs will inspire, encourage, and change people’s lives for the better.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 30 July 2015

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 31 July 2015

An Honest Review of Liberty 2015 by SickBitchCrips

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We, SickBitchCrips, thoroughly enjoyed Liberty 2015. In fact, we can honestly say it was the best 50 minutes of our lives. On arrival, we bumped into larger than life Mik Scarlet and his wonderful wife Diane. They couldn’t have spoken more positively about Liberty and we were itching to make our grand entrance to see what all the fuss was about.

There were so many impressive moments we simply don’t know where to start. For example, the sculptural art that was the raised platform situated in front of the main stage was so precious and beautiful that nobody dared to mount it. The genius part was the water gushing around on top and the isolation and alienation it made us think about and relate to.

The alcoholic tent was empty and they didn’t serve champagne, which was a disgrace, so red wine had to do, at an extortionately crippling price.

Bradley Hemmings, a sweet, happy guy, bent over and sympathetically explained the financial restraints Liberty has been subjected to. So in conclusion, The Olympic Park is cheaper and the Mayor wants to reserve Trafalgar Square for international and cultural festivals and therefore Liberty has had its funding slashed by Boris. We totally understood and were delighted that at least we have somewhere to skip and dance and play with our balls.

Apparently, there are days of the year when Trafalgar Square is taken over by such events like a huge pillow fight and everyone dressing up as Santa Claus. We don’t really know how to match that, these are such ambitious and thought-provoking ideas.

The tiny erect tents sheltered the organisations, keeping them nice and dry, while we remained wet and excited by their leaflets.

The fluorescent zone managers/security/do-gooders were in abundance and it was a comfort to see that they were geared up for the drippiest of all days. Who needed heat when the rays from their jackets was enough to feel like we were in Benidorm.

The highlight of the day had to be when one of our delicate and fragile Chihuahuas did a shit in the name of live art.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 28 July 2015

Last modified by Katherine Araniello, 29 July 2015

A Modest and Honest Guide for the Febrile-Disabled

SickBitchCrips detest all of you and we look forward to your tragic, pitiful demise. We are outcasts from everything and have zero pity for anyone, least of all you criplets.

We are appalling and nasty, degenerative atrophied SickBitchCrips and intend to remain wheelchair dependent for the rest of our sorry little helpless lives.

Regrettably we recently survived a severe bout of acute pneumonia and we hate ourselves for this, unfortunately a stint in the high dependency unit did us the world of good, no gaping holes in our neat little arses apart from the orifice one skitters out of. Prior to this we nearly drowned in our own bodily fluids but alas we were sucked high and dry in the dick of time.

Our Modest and Honest Guide for the Febrile-Disabled:

  • The no purpose pathetic life of a disabled specimen is to always be false to yourself – you will be relegated to the fringes of society until you die.
  • The life of a genetic defect is not worth considering.
  • No happiness can ever be expected when you drain societies coffers to care for you.
  • The law is changing and spazzos will most certainly succumb as a result. You are a severe burden and an unnecessary financial drain to the wealthy tax payer.
  • A feral animal has earned more respect than you can ever wish for.
  • This is the year when any money you acquired to live an abnormally luxurious lifestyle will be rightly snatched away from you and hence pissing, shitting and stuff like that will become a thing of the past.
  • You will be force-peg fed, suprapubicised , catheterised and colostomised, and that’s just for starters.
  • As a cripple you can forget about having sex and for all you girlies look forward to a premature hysterectomy, no watersports for you my dears.
  • Your best hope for a relationship is the one you develop with your bedpan/hoist/crutch/guide dog/cochlear implant/mummy and daddy.
  • Heroin, coke and MDMA/other will be available to you in plentiful supply, dirty needles de rigueur.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 13 March 2015

Last modified by Katherine Araniello, 13 March 2015

‘Uncensored 00’

Sick Bitch Crips – are back and frantically rummaging up their nasal passages to find  olfactory ensheathing cells (OECs) that will transform them into Hussein Bolt. 

They don’t understand all the fuss but apparently taking teeny tiny steps, and hobbling along with calipers and a walking frame, is even more impressive than man landing on the moon. 

Sick Bitch Crips, proudly admit that they are helpless and pathetic, defined by their trolleys permanently – and they love it unashamedly – but secretly they are bi-curious bona fide bitches.

The Sick Bitch Crips are currently dabbling in Coke and have aspirations to join the foot and mouth painting disease club in time for the Christmas rush. They are delighted to premiere their first brave attempt which will make hearts bleed and have devotees weeping all over their smocks.

The painting entitled “100 Days to Defecate This Shit” is their first heroic experiment to smear oil on canvas with their tongue. In this action painting think Annie Sprinkle’s Tit Prints mixed with Stuart Brisley’s Museum of Ordure.

Sick Bitch Crips were born without heads arms and feet and minus skeletons, a rare condition more commonly known as SMA (Smothering Mother’s Aureole). They hope to inspire the disabled to be crafty but are aware that very few sick disabled people have any artistic merit, or indeed any merit at all.

SBC are expecting to raise much needed awareness and funds for their hot appeals: ‘Forgive Mummy for Killing Her Floppy Babies & It’s Okay to Kill Paralympians’. Just like the Ebola virus, they want their appeals to spread as much as possible, and with SBC coming from the developed world this will be a doddle.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 24 October 2014

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 24 October 2014

Artist Katherine Araniello’s response to the SMA Poster Campaign with accompanying image

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In April 2014 three young children were murdered by their mother and the media coverage highlighted the ‘severe degenerative condition’ and thus once again perpetuated the negative stereotype of impairment, which is defined as ‘Spinal Muscular Atrophy’ (SMA). The media focused on their condition and reinforced the medical diagnosis underlining the severity of SMA and the medical requirements associated with this disease including requiring 24 hour care.

I was compelled to respond to this atrocity as both someone with SMA and as an artist and this has not been an easy task. There has been an influx of ‘positive’ images of people with SMA from around the world in a campaign to promote people with SMA as achievers. The strap line is ‘SMA hasn’t stopped me…’ and this is followed by sentiments such as falling in love or getting two degrees, travelling to China etc. On one side is an image of someone with SMA and on the other is the text. The poster campaign follows this standard template.

Images of real people with SMA are interesting, but the positivity ends once the text spells out an explanation as to what the individual has managed to achieve despite having SMA. The counterbalancing of responding to the media’s medical prognosis of SMA in favour of alternative images focusing on an individual with SMA and their accomplishments collapses at the first hurdle.

Producing insipid images of people with SMA and promoting their ‘feats’ as extraordinary,  turns it into a ‘them’ and ‘us’ scenario, which then creates an imbalance and the word inequality replaces equality because we are now encouraged to view people with SMA as ‘special’. Additionally once we view the image of the person with SMA and read the accompanying text, there is limited scope for dialogue/discussion and hence a premature lifespan, precisely like the SMA children that were smothered prevails. If this was the objective of such a poster campaign then it would sit more comfortably with me because artistically and intellectually there is a much broader spectrum to engage with.

The SMA campaign posters successfully elicit a string of compliments, ‘you’re amazing’ and ‘congratulations’ the gaze is fuelled with admiration and subconscious messed up idealistic beliefs that despite SMA ‘they’ do come across as normal just like me – and therefore it’s all okay, and everyone is happy and we can continue to patronise disabled people as we always have and probably always will. Soon that horrid front-page headline of children with SMA killed by their mother will be buried and forgotten, just like those three children.

So I decided to produce an alternative reaction which favours an image that is crude, revolting, abject and is my response to the SMA kiddie killer. I am shifting the media’s perspective on disability and I hope to have initiated thoughts about how we want to be portrayed by society.

My art is to think and rethink –

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 6 May 2014

Last modified by Katherine Araniello, 6 May 2014

‘Screw the Taboo’ Performance by Katherine Araniello and Jenna Finch

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Performance on May 15 8 PM At The Yard Theatre, Unit 2A
Queen’s Yard
White Post Lane
Hackney Wick
London
E9 5EN

Katherine Araniello and Jenna Finch premier their performance ‘Screw the Taboo’. They adopt a deadpan approach in the execution of their performances and the material is twisted and subverted. Through Karaoke, Blow Me Down, Candy Crushing and Backward Bingo they see the faults and failures of innocence tempting and want to share their findings with the audience in a feeble attempt to screw the taboo.

Book a ticket from the following site (PA is free – wheelchair accessible)

http://www.theyardtheatre.co.uk/event/the-movers-shakers-club/

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 1 May 2014

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 6 May 2014

Unlimited

Two Chihuahuas bathing in the sun under a palm tree

Much has occurred since my last insertion – I was the VIP guest on the Disability Now, royal podcast and I took great delight in airing my grubby haute couture on the government’s decision to remove the Independent Living Fund in 2015.

I don’t really care because I’m a bona fide fake – if I wanted to skip jump run and defecate unaided I would – but I choose not to – it’s great fun having minions performing mundane tasks for one such as charring the cabbage, scrubbing the bedpan and promenading the pair of bitches every hour on the hour.

Then there is the Assisted Dying Bill – thank you Lord Falconer – what a delightful beautiful man you are – I want to dribble all over you and as a severely disabled defect dyke I am turned on by your sweaty brow and your eagerness to see the likes of me guzzle back barbiturates and depart once and for all. Let’s just do it, no need to worry about the sixty second diagnosis, I’m terminal, your terminal, we’re all terminal, exterminate.

Unlimited thrust an immodest amount of sterling into my limp twisted motionless little mitts to perform the Dinner Party Revisited at the Southbank Centre in September 2014 – so I kneel to the Grim Reaper and order him to keep his filthy paws off my silky drawers.

If you’ve been hearing rumours the commission was a fix – you’re absolutely right, the power of SickBitchCrips is insurmountable – together we rule the world!

http://disabilitynow.org.uk/podcasts/independent-living-and-assisted-dying

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 8 April 2014

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 8 April 2014

The Dinner Party - (PDF publication)

The Dinner Party

Below is a link to the three commissioned essays written by performance artist Marcia Farquhar, Ella Finer and Lois Keidan, Director of LADA (Live Art Development Agency) with additional text by Katherine Araniello.

The essays have been written especially for The Dinner Party.  This highly recommended reading gives a context to the differences between live art and theatre, a description of the processes involved in the making of The Dinner Party, and an artist’s perspective and thinking behind the performance.

Enriched with disability content and an insight into what goes on inside Araniello’s brain when subverting the ordinary and mundane into subversive and humorous performance video pieces.

The essays are an intelligent perception of the creative processes of a performance directed and devised by Araniello and which would not have been possible without the professional support and funding from the Artsadmin bursary.

Please click on the link below to access the pdf Publication: www.araniello-art.com/Publications

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 9 March 2014

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 11 March 2014

Underwater SickBitchCrips

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One of a groundbreaking series of live-art video works by the infamous British artist Katherine Araniello.

Her latest piece creates much provocation, is this a screensaver or is it art?

Whatever it is it is beautiful to watch and transports the viewer into a euphoric world of fish...

Posted by Colin Hambrook, 1 March 2014

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 6 March 2014

SBC (SickBitchCrips) Interview with Katherine Araniello

graphic with a yellow outline of the artist Katherine Araniello at the centre of a black square with the title Lazy Baby above

Araniello: Your latest music video is called ‘Lazy Baby’, can you tell us a bit about it, and the inspiration behind it?

SBC: The song is about our terminal condition and the tragic monotonous life we have to suffer on a daily basis. We are very ‘different’ and bearing the burden of being genetic defects takes a lot out of us.

Araniello: Are you looking for sympathy?                                   

SBC: Yes.

Araniello: The lyrics come across as perhaps a tad sickening.

SBC:  We were diagnosed with a crippling and life threatening neuromuscular disease but we never grumble, we persevere with our dismal and sorrowful existence.

Araniello: It must be a terrible fate to be poorly delicate little petals.

SBC: Each day is ten times worse than the last.

Araniello: What are your aspirations?

SBC: We aspire to be average Gemmimas and cross the tracks without a palaver.

Araniello: If you were in the doghouse what would you do?

SBC: Lots of charity gigs.

Araniello: How do you think the public see you?

SBC:  Green vegetables. Cabbage, Broccoli, Runner Beans, that sort of thing.

Araniello: What phrase best sums up SBC?

SBC: Healers of the World.

Araniello: What is your life expectancy?

SBC: Poor.

Araniello: Would you describe it as fatal?

SBC: Imminent.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 12 February 2014

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 6 March 2014

be encouraged by the SickBitchCrips

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SBC (SickBitchCrips) are excited to unveil their new freehand sketch ‘Red’ which injects January and the next 11 months with a much needed morale kick up the arse.

The blood thirsty tiny canine and the damaged arms and legs just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time.  It is exciting when relationships collapse and the consequences of a little tiff can hopefully result in plenty of foul playfulness. The killer shark instinct is in all of us and SBC will always be on the side of the genetically challenged.

‘Female Masking’ aroused SBC and they are forever desirous of entering a subservient latex dolly and manoeuvring their way around.  They are delighted to be liberated by short blond hair, open eager red lips, mascara laden eyelids and inflated glossy massive knockers with permanently aroused buds.   SBC relish the opportunity of being transformed into objects of desire and enjoy the attention so lovingly showered on them as they prance up and down in their haute couture rubber suits.

SBC on a much needed fag break during the first ever Female Masking Convention in the UK, sexily paraded along the Eastbourne Promenade much to the repugnance of the local, bariatrics, geriatrics and general benefit street scumbags.  They jeered and twerked and hunted down the traumatised locals until the early hours of the morning with undiminished feral appetite.

 

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 23 January 2014

Last modified by Katherine Araniello, 23 January 2014

Christmas Delightment

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SBC (SickBitchCrips) are delighted to bring to you their new work ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’.

The Christmas video is a beautiful rendition of the classic ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ first introduced by Judy Garland in 1944, and reminds us of how beautiful and idyllic Christmas is. A time for giving, eating, sharing and feeling trapped by relatives and loved ones. SBC have captured this precious moment in their beautiful camera work and backing vocals that are reminiscent of heavenly fairy like creatures.

SBC have tentatively produced a seductive and hypnotic, relaxing backdrop of Christmas cheer, showcasing two caged Chihuahuas lying comatose, with little snowflakes falling down on their fragile delicate frames.

Overindulgence and eating until you poop is what makes Christmas so special and without those squeaky pigs and our feather duster bird friends, Christmas would be a little disappointing.

SBC would like to make a toast to all the swine’s and birds for sacrificing their lives in huge quantities to make our Christmases a happy feasting period. Lastly we would like to spare a little thought to Jesus and all her followers and pray that one day the spell will be lifted.

 

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 28 December 2013

Last modified by Katherine Araniello, 29 December 2013

Katherine's Story

This work is inspired by a comedy sketch I found on YouTube where an actress plays the role of a 'Lazy Cow'. In my video I perform to camera and play the role of the victim labelled a 'Normal'

I use clichéd medical sentiments associated with disabled people in my phoney bid to plead to the public to set up a charity and raise money for those of us suffering from this terrible disease commonly referred to as 'Normal'.

Posted by Colin Hambrook, 17 December 2013

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 17 December 2013

'A Fistful of Froth' is here!

a western poster-style image

As promised earlier this year 'A Fistful of Froth' is finally here.

In 1858 a lone SickBitchCrip has lost herself in the barren terrain of the Wild West. She has no friends and no idea how she ended up in this hostile unforgiving environment.

Survival is only guaranteed by the merciless killing of others. SickBitchCrip must keep her wits about her at all costs, dodging bullets from her buddies, total unadulterated scum who are almost as crooked and bent as she is.

The wily mean SickBitchCrip is totally ruthless and frothing with venom intent on vengeance. But time is ticking – she is wanted, dead or alive – the reward is high and the townsfolk are thirsty for her blood.

Posted by Colin Hambrook, 6 December 2013

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 7 December 2013

‘The Artist Interview’ a review by Sick Bitch Crips

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Katherine Araniello was invited and paid £25,000 to make a live art intervention for Together 2013.  She was given a brief: “do whatever you want”, so she went straight to Soho House for inspiration and champagne.

Several weeks later after rehab, she decided that the only person she’s really interested in is herself. So the art would be about her and she would interview herself live on screen.  This amazing solution of mixing video and live performance was so original and us Sick Bitch Crips are truly in awe of our wonderful creator.

She spent weeks rehearsing for the perfect answers to the perfect art questions and we couldn’t have answered them better ourselves.

Her dynamic voice with her clear cut responses and enthusiasm for her own practice was undeniably clear and precise.

We are disappointed however that there was no apparent humour in Araniello’s work and we were confused by the naked girl swinging on a wrecking ball in her studio.  We didn’t understand her Candy Crush reference or its relationship with art.  Advocating euthanasia is something that us Sick Bitch Crips have always been proud of and we are appreciative that Araniello continues to spread the message that we all want to die as a result of our debilitating conditions and incapacity to function like normal people. 

We were ecstatic that Araniello plugged herself repeatedly and our idol was simultaneously live and on screen. We were on the edge of our seats bombarded with a cacophony of surprises and visual spectacle.

We are desperate to see this work again and are delighted to announce that ‘The Artist Interview’ will be happening again

at The Old Town Hall, 29 The Broadway, Stratford, London E15 4BQ

Thursday 19 December 6.30-9pm: (End of festival party)

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 25 November 2013

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 26 November 2013

Sick Bitch Crip Dance

It is an absolute drain on one’s resources, having to meet strict deadlines, accept commissions and say yes to every invitation, but the good news is I have managed to surreptitiously miss a month of composing my cutting-edge text.

The DAO fan base was frozen in time and made no demands on me to update this blog. So despite the severe lack of interest here are my latest irresistible musings.

I was recently invited to be an ArtsAdmin associate artist – which of course I accepted with little or no hesitation.

On the 3rd of October from 6pm until 10pm I will be one of the selected artists showing a film At the Nunnery, London, please click on this link for details:

SBC (SickBitchCrip) are currently jigging overseas, apparently somewhere in Canada in a virtual Cripping Cyberspace contemporary online gallery. For more details please click on this link.

Cripping Cyberspace: A Contemporary Virtual Art Exhibition, probably the most accessible gallery in the world.  Read all about Sick Bitch Crip ‘Dance’ and experience their latest video. Watch those digitally manipulated Bitches, smash, bang, twist and spin.

SBC's bespoke designs are driven by sickly disability, overindulgence, fags, booze, greed and branding. They have mutated into three entities; Sick, Bitch and Crip. Their crippled profiles are absurdly preposterous and their online presence has gone viral. They are in a complete world of their own, albeit a virtual one.

My website has survived a fantastic makeover. To go there please click on this link.

Finally SBC insist that they are at their most creatively fecund when listening intensively to the incomparable voice of Demis Roussos haranguing ‘Forever and Ever’ on vinyl.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 30 September 2013

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 7 November 2013

Meet the SickBitchCrip Bitches (Soon to be animated)

Sick – is an iconic wheelchair-bound living miracle and is the proud host of a multitude of debilitating diseases.  She is still breathing and lives life to the full despite her many conflictions. She holds the world record for being the sickest cripple ever and she has no intentions of letting anyone in with a chance of snatching this prestigious title. Everyone adores her and she is a Sick celebrity lapping up all the sympathy and pity she can muster.

Bitch – has a disproportionate over inflated ego and fiery tits.  She dreams of being crippled and is desperate to hunt down a surgeon who will snap her spinal cord to stop her legs from wriggling. In frenzied acts of self-destruction to make her dream come true she will do anything to lame herself, yet tragically all attempts of crippling herself to smithereens have failed. Every day is a struggle but she is determined that one day she will successfully disable herself and steal the limelight from Sick.

Crip - is a product of her own self-indulgence. Her greasy fatty fried festering look and sit still and do sweet fuck all attitude has rendered her into a piss guzzling, fast food obsessed junkie. Her assistant lap dog bitch named Gob, is determined to gobble all the crap that Crip shoves down her gullet. The other two bitches have their eyes on Crip in fear that one day she may consume them and become the ultimate Sick Bitch Crip. Crip is fantastic at playing the Crip card and has a natural gift for pulling at the heartstrings and making people weep.

Press release:

SickBitchCrips are the greatest thing that the world could ever want. Introducing ‘Sick’ the cripple that everyone wants to be…

SickBitchCrips, growth in popularity is increasing every second – meet ‘Bitch’, you know you want to be her – everyone’s favourite and everyone’s secret little desire…

SickBitchCrips elevating high above their contemporaries, introducing ‘Crip’ the epitome of success and envy of many…

Breaking news

Sponsorship deals are currently in negotiation with McDonald’s, Marlboro lights, Heinz baked beans, Tesco’s Value Lager, the Daily Mail and the Queen.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 25 July 2013

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 8 October 2013

Little Miss Pity Crippy

Image - pity_crippy_charity.jpg

‘A Fistful of Froth’ it’s so bad it's good! Watch the video!

SBC (SickBitchCrip) is fit and healthy but also understands she is lame and sick.

It isn't fair that the state does not recognise her need to feed her devoted Chihuahuas on caviar and chips. The economic climate is against her and she knows we are living in dangerous times. An individual cannot be expected to use art as a support mechanism to live a good quality of life. This is a self-indulgent trait of many artists who should go out and get a proper job and stop messing around with people's closeted mindsets.

SBC’s inspiration comes from Raffaella Carra in her 1978 hit 'Do it again'. The lyrics and tone are beautiful and give a clear message about art; ‘… don't ever start it if you can't stop’.

Other sources of inspiration come from herself.

A Fistful of Froth is full of love and hate and the spaghetti mishmash tells the story of bestiality, incest and murder. The juxtaposition of wheelchair and Whorehorse set against the backdrop of the Irish Potato Famine is charged with a sense of grandeur.

The sticky, slimy, gritty mess on the backside was dirty and required a good heart warming scrub to make it look shiny and new again.  Once restored it was ready for action and as good as new – waiting to iron out those imperfections.

The plug had been pulled and Jemima was once again relieved that the battery on her breathing apparatus kicked in and she could continue watching Tiptoe Through The Tulips.

Little Miss Pity Crippy catapulted out of her chair onto the sodden ground and squashed all the insects that lay beneath her. She kept still and did not move a muscle, everyone around her thought she was dead but she was just faking it. Once recovered and craned back into her chariot she went about her daily business. The Chihuahuas remained intact and were not put off by their downfall. The lift on the coach is now fixed and safety procedures are now in place to ensure that the Beachy Head near fatal mishap never happens again.

Little Miss Pity Crippy sat on a wall

Eating her turds and whey,

Along came a spider,

Who sat down beside her

And pushed Little Miss Pity Crippy away

 

Little Miss Pity Crippy sat on the wall

Precious and delicate and perfectly still

Little Miss Pity Crippy had a great fall

All the king's horses and all the King's men

Couldn't make Little Miss Pity Crippy normal again

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 5 June 2013

Last modified by Katherine Araniello, 5 June 2013

‘A Fistful of Froth’ (coming soon)

Plot Summary

In 1858 a lone SickBitchCrip has lost herself in the barren terrain of the Wild West. She has no friends and no idea how she ended up in this hostile unforgiving environment.

Survival is only guaranteed by the merciless killing of others. SickBitchCrip must keep her wits about her at all costs, dodging bullets from her buddies, total unadulterated scum who are almost as crooked and bent as she is.

The wily mean SickBitchCrip is totally ruthless and frothing with venom intent on vengeance. But time is ticking – she is wanted, dead or alive – the reward is high and the townsfolk are thirsty for her blood.

Awards Ceremony
SickBitchCrips are living the dream because their ruthless unashamed acts of bribing and blackmailing have paid off.   They are number 116 on The DNS (Disability News Service)[1] inspirational list  that names and shames the most influential disabled people in Britain today.  

Social Networking

SickBitchCrip exclusive facebook page [2] has reached a staggering 79 Likes and they are bracing themselves for their massive centenary celebrations. They promise their latest top secret film will be unleashed as soon as they reach one hundred likes or as soon as it is finished if this is an unrealistic or too optimistic goal.

On a lighter note
A BBC News team were helicoptered in to Ms Araniello’s Chihuahua pad to probe and interrogate her on her refusal to permit doctors to drug and murder her.  Dippy and Crippy, her devoted bitches ran circles round the paparazzi, praying that one day Paul Lamb will see the light. [3] 

Ms Araniello’s positive outlook on life was broadcast on prime time BBC news and SickBitchCrips are proud of their creator for speaking so eloquently and delicately; albeit one blink and you will have missed the entire mutilate the vegetable scene. 

Ms Araniello is heartbroken that the Cook-Along-With-Wheelchair-K, cabbage sketch was axed as she felt this would have contributed deeply towards a delightful discussion around: ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go’ [4] whilst simultaneously providing an excellent sing along and an appropriate metaphor.

The new face of Tate
Liberate Tate [5] headhunted Ms Araniello and invited her to perform at Tate Modern – a performance that exposes the BP trial happening in New Orleans on the third anniversary of the BP oil spill in the gulf of Mexico. [6] [7]

SickBitchCrips applaud the Liberate Tate organisers and are in negotiation on their next intervention which is top secret but may involve an oil spillage of their own. They guarantee that their leakage will not be a contender for the catastrophic damage BP has caused.  SickBitchCrips are desperate for sponsorship – but so far have held back on BP funding as they feel it would be unfair to accept dirty oil money for their self-indulgent art practice and selfishly thieve from Tate modern BP sponsorship deals.
[1] http://disabilitynewsservice.com/2013/04/influence-index-test-post/

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 2 May 2013

Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 7 December 2013

Pity Party

On an exceptionally gloomy, Easter Erection wet weekend, at the butt end of a bedroom tax demo, SickBitchCrips gayfully retreat to the Duke of York’s Theatre to gawp at Rupert Everett in the role as the talented Oscar Wilde in The Judas Kiss.  After interminable inching backwards and forwards, SickBitchCrips are finally comfortable in the wheelchair spaces, allocated at the opposite ends of a row. Sadly they are unable to catapult themselves out of their prams into normal seats and therefore have to pay the price by seeing less than fifty percent of the action.  The bed scenes displaying fanny, jugs and drooping dicks are out of sight for patrons confined to wheelchairs and on reflection SickBitchCrips are delighted that they have been denied cock at Easter.  

The ageing theatre was indisputably built without consideration for its invalid patrons as the sick didn’t venture out much in those days.   At the end of the performance the actors take a bow and announce that one of their crew will be running in the London Marathon shortly. The cast ambush the exit rattling and thrusting buckets to raise money for sick and delicate children.  SickBitchCrips make a frenzied departure, swerving through the herd of lesbians/thespians, exiting the theatre, avoiding begging bowls and clinging on to their hard earned drug money. 

SickBitchCrips are elated that they have outmanoeuvred sick kiddy pity giving only to be accosted by Rob the helpful cripple.  SickBitchCrips listen with elation as Rob regurgitates a long drawn out story about how his toes were blown off in a mishap during target practice in The Royal Signals. Rob refuses government hand-outs and accommodation and opts to kip in the gutter rather than skip on a plane to Dignitas to guzzle down a massive dose of healthy barbiturates. He bravely decided to become independent and took up flogging The Big Issue outside the Duke of York’s day in day out.  SickBitchCrips aspire to disabled Rob’s life style choices and are stoically proud of themselves for refusing to purchase The Big Issue and indulging his war victim hero’s, lavish lifestyle.

SickBitchCrips exhaustedly promote engendered self-pity with their latest two or three million pound multiple grants funded project.  They are grateful to their funders who include ACE, BNP, BP, GREAESE, and SHIPSHAPE. Pity Party exposes the necessity to Pity Party until the bitter end. The luxury venue is the fabulously appointed Wes-Sex through floor lift and although somewhat confined the space is an acoustically inferior location especially if one's friends are limited.  The elevator experience brings new heights to the afflicted and serves as an intimate space accommodating an eclectic breed of hybrid sick bitches.  The Pity Party depraves have spent months developing new, more individualized approaches to the moving body and choreographic possibilities. Pity Party is realised, danced and choreographed by SickBitchCrips, integrating special movement in and around the disabled lift. The song is composed and arranged by SickBitchCrips and the backing singers are a revised group of late sixties dyslexic duets who have spent a long time in rehearsal. 

Click on the link to see 'Pity Party' before it is premiered in Leicester Square sometime soon.

 

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 1 April 2013

Last modified by Katherine Araniello, 12 April 2013

Not Fitter... just Wasting Away

SickBitchCrips have little to report this month. They continue to steer away from issues of sex, politics and religion and attempt to avoid the reality of their own sorry lives. SickBitchCrips are gleefully ignorant of what everyone's currently debating i.e. the instigation of Bedroom Tax and abolition of Council Tax Benefit and refuse to comment from their privately owned penthouse overlooking the Houses of Parliament.  However they did admit to a degree of empathy because they too suffer intolerably on a daily basis waiting for the lift to reach them on the top floor of their luxury apartment.

SickBitchCrips enjoy watching the fun, pity and trivialities of Comic Relief and have decided to respond and generate cash for themselves by creating their own special charity 'Chronic Relief Day'. It's all very simple – donate £50 and they will personally bake you a special SickBitchCrips farewell cake which is guaranteed to change your life forever.

They are also looking forward to their lavish Pity Party prior to the inevitability of their being placed on the Liverpool Care Pathway for the dying of impatience, with their full consent. SickBitchCrips are delighted about this because it will save them the cost of a one-way ticket to Zürich which they have been planning since the Paralympics and the Valentine's Day ‘surprise’ shenanigans.

Due to the sad resignation of their close friend the Cardigan they will be flying to Rome to take part in proceedings and fancy their chances of trying on the ruby slippers and driving in the specially adapted Crip-mobile. They fully recognise that they have a reputation to uphold and can assure the populace that absolutely nothing will change, after all where would we be without haemophilia and male bondage. We wouldn't be quite the same institution.

Posted by Katherine Araniello, 5 March 2013

Last modified by Katherine Araniello, 5 March 2013